when you just feel like ‘meh’: overcoming the spirit of heaviness
Recently, I started my day on high note. I drove down to the coffee shop in the neighborhood to get some work done. Got myself a cup of coffee (iced caramel macchiato) and a toasted plain bagel with strawberry cream cheese. Then I got myself situated and started to work. I had 2 priorities set: first one was to complete a job application (requiring a cover letter + references) and secondly, complete edits on another set of letters I had to do. I spent 2 hours (ikikik) tailoring my resume and letter for the job application. I honestly don’t know if this would ever get easy.
When I got done, I noticed I started feeling a bit fidgety (coffee?). I started on the next task after I took a break to read some poetry from “Beauty Maker by Sarah Alison”. Into the next task, I started feeling a resistance as I edited my letters so I began to pray without words but in the spirit under my breath. Then I played my instrumental playlist to focus on something else than how I was feeling. At this point it was apparent that something was off, I wondered if it was the coffee or if it was hormonal like why do I feel uneasy?
By the time I was leaving the coffee shop, it was almost 5pm. I went home to have my first meal of the day but I was so uncomfortable in my body I tried everything to feel better: laid on the bed for a few minutes, tried deep controlled breathing, tried aromatherapy….was still uneasy. Then I went outside, got a jump rope and started skipping. Finally ate, then I thought I’d create some art while tuning into worship (typically calms me) then I took out my braids and realized I needed a word but I couldn’t sit still to read the word so I decided I would watch a sermon because as you can see I was all over the place.
My spirit led me to watch a message by PK. The Antidote-Pt 2!
And as God would have it, I confirmed what I sensed all along, the spirit of heaviness. I literally physically felt so heavy-weighted that I couldn’t focus on my work or accomplish what I had set out to do for the rest of the day. The spirit of heaviness feeds off pressure and causes resistance.
I had to make a trade; “I’ll take on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness”.
Even though I didn’t feel like it, I praised through that weight, resisting the resistance. Definitely not in high spirits but I had to command my soul and spirit to acknowledge who is Lord over this life and eventually…BREAKTHROUGH.
Ladies and mentlegen, we definitely do not wrestle against flesh and blood (laughs in tongues), there is infact spiritual wickedness in high places. Even the flesh is weak, bruh!
Chai, shege barawo to the enemy: a literal thief of joy, peace and anything good.
A prayer for everyone feeling heavy-weighted, tired or fatigued:
Father, I thank you that we overcome by the blood of the lamb and word of our testimony. I thank you that there is a blood that speaks a better word over us and silences the accusations of the enemy. I thank you that you are interceding for us that we will not fail or faint. I thank you that your spirit is with us, our ever present help in time of need. Thank you for your spirit that helps us discern when we are misaligned. Thank you for your mighty power at work within us that helps us overcome and the faith we have in you that quenches all the fiery darts of the enemy.
Lord I ask that for everyone reading this that is feeling heavy-weighted, fatigued, disheartened, or tired — that you will give unto them a garment of praise. I pray that every weight of heaviness and resistance is lifted off. That the cloak of sadness and despair is stripped off for a garment of praise, joy and gladness. I pray that they would rise in your name. Every situation that seems like ashes, Lord I ask that in your might and splendor you will make into a beautiful one. I pray for the spirit of joy to rest upon them and that you would surround us all with songs of victory in Jesus name.
Thank you Father for we know that whatever we ask, we receive by faith in Jesus name. Amen!
“To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified”. Isaiah 61:3
“14 Sing aloud, O daughter of Zion; shout, O Israel! Rejoice and exult with all your heart, O daughter of Jerusalem!
15The Lord has taken away the judgments against you; he has cleared away your enemies. The King of Israel, the Lord, is in your midst; you shall never again fear evil.
16 On that day it shall be said to Jerusalem: “Fear not, O Zion; let not your hands grow weak.
17 The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.” Zephaniah 3:14-17
Well, cheers to the first blog of the year! It has been a minute and its crazy that the first blog is a personal testimony. This just gives you a preview to the season that I’m in. Hahahaha — those who sit in Heaven really do laugh because all these trials is to fulfill all righteousness.
FEELING BLUE, April 2024. Oil Pastel on Pastel Paper.
The art mentioned in this blog post.
